“It is about my poop“ – “Es geht um meine Kacke”. Der wohl beste Anfang für eine wundervolle, witzige Geschichte. Aufgeschrieben bzw. getwittert hat sie Makela (@_blotty) aus Toronto.
I have a story to tell. It is about my poop
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty)
Stellen Sie sich vor, Sie haben eine Verabredung und gehen zum anderen nach Hause. Dann müssen Sie auf die Toilette… Wir lassen den Rest jetzt einfach mal kurz auf Sie wirken:
So, yesterday I went on a date with a man who asked me out in the grocery store the other day. All was going well. I went back to his place
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty)
I am a confident, calm and self assured woman…so I felt comfortable popping in his bathroom. This was a mistake. His toilet did not flush
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty)
Properly. So, of course, like any calm, confident, self assured woman. I panicked. And flushed it a million times, making everything worse
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty)
Spätestens ab jetzt wird es ungemütlich:
By this point, I was really frantic because I had been in there for too long. There was only one single piece of poop. So in that moment
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty)
Something came over me. And I knew exactly what I had to do. I got toilet paper and removed the one poop from the toilet. Once that was done
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty)
Die Frau scheint wirklich ruhig zu bleiben und zu wissen, was sie tut. Respekt!
I realized I didn’t have a plan. What do I do with it now? I can’t fucking leave it there. By this point I was REALLY freaking out because
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty)
Ach, doch nicht!
I’d DEFINITELY been in there too long. So, again, making another horrible decision. I did the only thing I could think to do. I wrapped it
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty)
Jetzt raten Sie mal, welchen Plan sie hat.
In multiple layers of toilet paper, and put it in my purse
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty)
Jetzt bloß nichts anmerken lassen.
Alright, so now what? We are sitting there on his couch and kissing and all I can think of is the piece of poop in my purse
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty)
Ob die beiden ein Paar werden?
Him: you’re so beautiful. The moment you smiled at me,u had me
Me: that’s really sweet
Me in my head: I have a piece of my poo in my purse— misunderstood worm (@_blotty)
Wenn nichts mehr geht: Wen kann man um Rat fragen?
At this point, I text my sister for advice pic.twitter.com/lMeX55iiH4
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty)
Defintiv Geschwister. Ein Hoch auf Geschwister!
So, after a few hours he used the washroom and I heard it flush. I figured he fixed it. Maybe not, but I have to take the chance. I hAve to
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty)
Kommt jetzt die Rettung?
Try to flush the poop. So I brought my purse up to the washroom. Unwrapped the poop, prayed to every god I know, put it in and flushed
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty)
By the grace of God, it worked. The poo flushed. I was free. I was in the clear. Everything was going to be okay. I survived.I am a survivor
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty)
Meine Güte, diese Erleichterung nach dem Toilettengang!
So that’s my story. A man, sat there telling me I’m the most amazing woman he’s ever met, not knowing, 10 feet away in my purse, was my poop
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty)
Aber jetzt mal wirklich: Werden die beiden ein Paar? Und viel wichtiger: hat er diese Tweets schon gelesen?
This is v embarrassing for me. But seriously: dont drink coffee before a date, its better to be sleepy than to have to hide poop in ur purse
— misunderstood worm (@_blotty)
Auch wenn es ihr peinlich ist. Wir sind dankbar, dass sie die Geschichte mit uns geteilt hat.
